Mindworks Coaching Montreal

Stressed? Most people are. In hectic times with pressures from every direction, work and family, deadlines and things changing so fast, stress just seems to be a fact of life. But is it really?

Stress relief is a multibillion dollar industry. We are always hearing about more and more ways to deal with stress, relieve stress, manage stress…. we take supplements, hire coaches, and go for massages or acupuncture to alleviate all the stress we work so hard to build up. We talk about stress as if it is something that exists out there in the world that we have to face. We think that stress is a fact of life, after all, we live fast-paced lives juggling work and family, rushing to meet deadlines and always striving for more…. more money, more success, more stuff… to lead to more happiness. We live lives of constant stress so we can be happier.

Stress occurs when the brain begins to send the “danger/overload” message to the body, neurotransmitters and adrenalin are pumped through the blood and the body goes into alert mode. Heart rate increases, breathing becomes shallow, muscles tense, and our digestive and immune systems temporarily shut down. With all these physiological changes, beating stress is tough. When your body is filled with adrenalin, you have to wait for it to run its course. The body needs time to return to equilibrium. You can try deep breathing, meditation, visualization (or hundreds of other things!)… but my suggestion is to simply not get stressed in the first place.

Stress is not something that exists out there in the world. I have never heard of anyone tripping over a pile of stress on the street and never seen anyone put stress in a wheelbarrow… stress is not a thing, it’s a process. Wikipedia seems to agree with me on this, calling stress “the consequence of the failure to adapt to change.”

In order to get stressed, you have to do certain things with your mind and body. To get stressed you have to play the stress game. Stress can’t happen without your participation. Stress management means waiting until it’s too late. What we need to do is avoid sending the “danger/ overload” messages to our brain and body.

So how do you stress yourself out? Do you leave the most important things you have to do to the last minute? Do you think about everything you have to do all at once? What thinking patterns do you use to crank it up? Do you sit up straight with your eyes wide and your breathing shallow making scary pictures of negative consequences? What do you tell yourself? Do you speak to yourself with a tone of urgency, saying,“I must perform!” This has to be perfect” “I’ll never have this done on time!”

How easily can you fly into a rage? How easy is it for you to fly into a state of worry and anxiety? It’s pretty easy for most people. If you can do that, you can just as easily fly into a calm. Wouldn’t it be great to just fly into a calm every time things become “stressful”?

To prevent stress in the first place we can manage our schedules, time and work efficiently. That goes without saying. But what about how we respond to challenges, deadlines and crises? Will getting all worked up help you get things done? Quite the contrary! So you might as well remain calm and composed. Imagine remaining calm and resourceful no matter what. How much more effective would you be? How much more would you enjoy your work and your life?

Easier said than done, you may think, but learning I do not get stressed out. No, I am not lucky, I have simply decided not to play that game. I used to stress myself out and I was quite good at it. Then I realized that getting all worked up wasn’t helping me be more effective, and it wasn’t making life very pleasant. If I had things to get done and got all frazzled, it would be much harder to get everything done. If I kept a clear head I could focus on one thing at a time and work efficiently and effectively (and joyfully!)

I realized that when I was feeling stressed it was because I had a number of things to do and I was thinking about them all at the same time. On the screen of my mind I could see all the things I had to do looming above me, stretching from right to left. As I looked as these towering images, I could feel the pressure. So I took them and rearranged them. I lined them up in front of me in order of priority so I could only see the most important one, and suddenly I felt calm. There was a structure to my stress!

When I meet with clients who are stressed and overwhelmed I take them through this process to reorganize their mental to-do list and then I ask them, “Now can you feel stressed?” The response is always a calm, drawn out, softly spoken “No.”